What’s Your Influencing Style? (And Why it Matters!)
The Captain’s voice bing bonged into the silence and calmly informed us to assume the brace position. The stewardess asked us to sit down and brace.
In times of emergency, a straightforward command approach to influencing and leading is, perhaps, the only sensible choice.
In the next round, the lead stewardess was petite and sweetly asked everyone to sit and relax. This time, they served us a typical airline meal and halfway through, alarms sounded and out of the shocked chaos, a shrill authoritative voice penetrated with absolute clarity of no-nonsense follow these instructions. If I mention Bernadette from the Big Bang Theory you’ll likely get an instant understanding of just how commanding this member of flight crew was.
When there is no time for engaging people or asking politely, you can get a swifter response to a clear command. But would you want your boss to use that approach every day?
As a leader, I attract who I am, not who I want and often not who I need
Think of the people you surround yourself with (your chosen inner circle) and you’ll probably find that they are very much like you.We like people who are like us. And, more often than not, when we search for new people to join the team the first question we ask isn’t: “What are the qualities and competencies we need to seek and ensure that we benefit from more diversity in this team”. No, the question that is asked is: “Who do we know who could…. do this job, fill this role.”
But John, I hear you object, we don’t waste time and the way we do things is efficient and the most productive. Really? How many meetings do you attend that are a complete waste of your time? How much time do you waste clearing unnecessary emails? And why is that… could it be because that’s the way we do it around here?
These styles are the Conqueror and the Controller, which are more PUSH in their approach, more assertive and logical. Conductors and Connectors tend to be more emotional and PULL people toward them. The Conjuror, juggles the two in the middle.Through my research, it seems that we have a dominant style. Not to the exclusion of the others, but rather this is a default style of influencing. The one that has been the most productive in our experience, and the style we’ll default to when under pressure and stress.
I’ve created a wonderful short online assessment tool that you can use to learn your dominant style. It takes just three or four minutes to complete and I will run your analysis and send you a free report by the next day.No, it’s not fully automated and giving you an instant result…yet. Sorry about that. But I am inviting AdvantEdge VIP members to take it entirely for free.
I’ve found through my research, that we each tend towards one dominant style. This is the style that has worked best for us through our lives, usually from a very young age. It’s our default style when we neglect to think from the other person’s point of view.So what’s your style?
Secondly, take my Influencing Style Inventory and get a free profile report. It takes just 3 to 4 minutes to complete the assessment and I will send you your personally run report within one working day.